Easing Separation Anxiety

Parenting

12 Jan 2026

Five strategies that can help to soothe separation anxiety when your little one starts childcare.

BY HEJIRA CONVERY, KINDICARE

JANUARY 12, 2026

Whether you have a confident, cautious or clingy under-five, starting childcare is a huge life change, and separation anxiety is super common when this change first happens.

It’s totally natural for your young child to feel big emotions when their favourite person (that’s you) walks out the door, leaving them in a new place that’s full of new people.

Fortunately, separation anxiety fades as your little one gets used to early learning life, and there are some ways to ease it sooner.

Here’s what you can do to help, both before and after your child's first day.

1. Connect with your child’s educators ahead of time

Your little one will transition to childcare more smoothly if they feel comfortable with their educators.

So, before that first drop-off, spend some time at your early learning service building a rapport with your child’s key caregivers.

Seeing you smiling and chatting with these new people will help your under-five to build trust in them more quickly; and your child will find comfort in these familiar faces when separation anxiety strikes.

These educators can also help you by providing settling-in tips, and listening to any queries or concerns you might have about your child’s transition to daycare.

2. Make life predictable

The transition to childcare will be smoother if your little one knows what to expect.

So, it’s helpful to follow some childcare routines at home before your under-five officially starts at their service. For example, by following the same snack times and nap times.

It’s also really helpful to practise getting ready for, and getting to, childcare.

So, before that first drop-off:

Make sure you have a consistent morning routine around waking, toileting, breakfasting and dressing

Practise getting your child’s clothes and belongings ready the night before, and

Test out the childcare commute, so that everything runs smoothly on Day One, and there’s no unnecessary stress for your little one to soak up.

3. Talk things through with your child

Whether your little one is feeling sad, nervous, excited or unsure about starting childcare, it’s important to check in with them before the big move happens.

Ask your little one how they’re feeling, answer any questions they might have, and talk about childcare in positive ways.

This will help your under-five to feel emotionally supported, and it takes the mystery out of their massive life change.

Then when your child has started daycare, keep checking in with them to see how things are going, and keep communicating with their educators too.

4. Pack a comfort item

If your child has a special attachment to a teddy, blankie, family photo or other comfort item, then make sure this goes with them on their first day of childcare.

This little item will provide a lot of comfort when Mummy or Daddy walks out the door, and your child won’t feel so alone with that old friend in their arms.

5. Keep drop-offs short, sweet and consistent

Although your child’s first drop-off will very likely be very emotional, the best approach is to put on a happy face (even if you’re sobbing inside!), and get into a good routine.

This means:

Signing in

Saying hello to the team

Finding a place for your child’s belongings, then

Saying goodbye to your little one, explaining when you’ll be back and where you’ll collect them.

You might like to press a kiss into their hand or start some other drop-off ritual, but once you commit to that goodbye, it’s important to leave your child to their day without coming back.

You can rely on their educators to provide big cuddles, kind words and nice distractions; and if you’re worried about your little darling, you can always contact the service during the day for an update.