Expert tips to help your family reap the rewards of stickers, ticks and stars!    

BY HEJIRA CONVERY, KINDICARE

JULY 19, 2023

If you’ve ever seen a seal show at the aquarium, flexed your rewards card at a favourite shop, or poured a glass of vino after a hard day, you’ll know that rewards work a treat!  

They inspire people (and animals!) to behave in certain ways, and children aren’t immune to their charms.  

For this reason, a reward chart can be a very effective way to encourage your under eight to behave beautifully, or practise key skills.  

However, before you start slapping gold stars everywhere, it’s important to know that reward charts require effort and there are certain things you need to do to get the results you’d love!  

To help you choose and use this powerful parenting tool, we’ve sought advice from Derek McCormack and his team at the Raising Children Network. 

They explain that reward charts come in lots of different formats, but they all have one main aim.  

Whether you print off a design for the fridge, stick a store-bought chart to the wall, download an app to your phone, or roll out a kid-made creation, the aim of a reward chart is to guide your child towards positive behaviour or a specific goal. 

You can use a reward chart to: 

• Encourage good behaviour in your child, like putting their toys away 
• Discourage bad behaviour, like refusing to get dressed for daycare, or 
• Reward them for practising new skills, like tying their own school shoes. 

Stickers, stars and ticks are all common visual markers for a job well done, and the idea is that you add one of these each time your child achieves their behaviour goal – whether that’s once a day, or three times a week.  

Once your child accrues a certain number of ticks, stickers or stars, they then get a reward, and don’t worry – we’re not talking about a huge cash prize or a trip to Disneyland! 

Rewards can be as simple as a trip to the playground, a little toy, or getting to choose which show the whole family watches, and a reward chart can do a lot of good in a short amount of time. 

Derek McCormack is Director of the Raising Children Network and he says, “As part of encouraging positive behaviour in general, a reward chart can be really effective, because it motivates a child to think about their behaviour and do something positive about it.”  

“The rewards reinforce good behaviour and increase the likelihood that this behaviour will happen again, and keep happening,” he explains. 

“A reward chart can also help parents to look on the bright side, by encouraging them to notice positive actions, rather than focusing on a challenging behaviour.” 

So, how do you get started? 

Well, as with most things parenting-related, a successful reward chart roll-out involves communication, consistency and commitment; and The Raising Children Network suggests you do the following: 

Involve your child in the reward chart from the get-go. 

Instead of springing the whole thing on them, talk to your child about the positive behaviour you’d like to see, and describe it clearly.  

This means that instead of saying you’d like your preschooler to, “Tidy up after themselves,” it’s better to describe the goal as, “Putting your toys away at the end of the day.” 

Choose a reward chart your child will respond to.   

It’s important to match the chart to your child’s age and interests, and choose markers that make sense for them.  

Derek says, “Star stickers are often popular with younger children, magnetised pieces may be magical for school-starters, and older kids might prefer a points system on paper or virtual stars in an app.” 

Also, have a think about where your child wants to put their reward chart. 

Derek says, “While a preschooler may be proud to have their achievements ticked off in the main living space, a primary schooler might prefer to keep their chart in their room or on their device.” 

Offer rewards relatively quickly.  

Even the most patient child wants to see their efforts rewarded sooner rather than later.  

So, instead of having a long-term objective, like a family camping trip when they earn 50 stars, it’s usually better to offer a short-term reward, like a family bike ride at the end of the week (seven stars in!).  

It’s also important not to dilly-dally when giving stickers, stars or ticks.  

As soon as you see the positive behaviour, mark it on the chart, because this reinforces the behaviour, and Derek says, “Giving some specific praise also helps. So, you might say, ‘It was great to see you put away your LEGO just then. Here’s a sticker for your chart.’” 

Keep your eyes peeled for positive behaviour! 

Us parents have eyes in the back of the head, as well as the front, and when your child is working towards a goal, you should watch carefully for the behaviour you’re wanting.  

The whole idea of ‘catching your child being good’ rings true, and if they’re doing really well, you can always hand out two stars instead of one.  

Derek says, “You can also pleasantly surprise your child with a reward that’s not on the chart if you notice them doing something positive.”    

If your child isn’t doing so well, keep calm and carry on.   

Some habits are hard to break, and others are tricky to remember, so try not to stress if your child is still leaving toys all over place or kicking up a stink when they should be putting on their shoes. 

The Raising Children Network says it’s best to just move on with your day, without punishing or rewarding your child.  

Simply encourage them to try again, and keep those stickers handy for next time!   

Phase out the reward chart when you see results. 

The experts recommend that you continue the reward chart until your child’s behaviour has changed for the better, then gradually ‘phase out’ the chart by spacing out the markers and rewards more and more, with praise sprinkled into the gaps. 

Stopping a reward chart before it’s worked its magic will probably mean that your child reverts to their same old behaviour, so a slowly-slowly approach is definitely preferable!  

What should you do if the chart isn’t working? 

Some children respond to reward charts extremely well and are tripping over themselves to collect those markers, let alone the actual rewards. 

However, other children are underwhelmed by the whole idea, especially as they get older; and boredom can strike if a child has been collecting rewards for a while, or a superstar sibling is collecting more stars than them!  

There are some things you can do, though, to up the appeal of a reward chart: 

• If your child isn’t excited by the reward chart itself, then it may help to switch to a design that interests them more (hello rainbows, unicorns and digital downloads!)  
   
• It may also help to tailor the reward to their interests and choose something your child will really like. If they’re unmotivated because of an over-performing sibling, it’s also worth changing the reward to something that only your child likes or can achieve – whether that’s a sparkly hairclip, or a footy-kicking challenge at the oval.   
   
• Also, make sure the reward is worth working towards. For example, instead of offering a trip to your usual park or yet another toy car for their collection, you might need to level up with the offer of a snazzy new bike track or a shiny toy truck! 
   
• If your child is bored by the whole reward chart thing, or ‘too big’ to bother with it, it might also help to give them a choice around what goal they’re working towards, or a few options when redeeming their stickers, stars or ticks. 

Even so, there will come a time when reward charts become less powerful.  

Generally speaking, they work best between the ages of three and eight, however, all is not lost, because rewards continue to work on different levels throughout life.  

You might take your teen to the movies after doing their best on a test, or buy yourself a little something to celebrate your efforts, and whatever you do, it is nice to notice effort and achievement now and again!