Navigating Sleepless Nights
Sleep doesn’t always come easily for babies and children, but Mel Wilson is here to shed some light on restless nights and share some tips for all us yawny parents!
BY HEJIRA CONVERY, KINDICARE
Newborns are programmed to wake through the night for those top-up feeds, and while some littlies settle into a great sleep rhythm soon enough, this definitely isn’t the case for all of them.
Teething, night terrors, a new sibling and screen time are just some of things that can disrupt sleep during childhood; and if you’re struggling to keep your kiddo down (and your bleary eyes open), then Mel Wilson can definitely relate!
Mel is a former Kidspot editor and co-host of The Juggling Act podcast, and she knows what it’s like to raise a couple of sleep thieves.
Mel’s new book, Parenting in Progress, details her experiences in a humorous, heart-felt and helpful way.
And though you’ll want to read about all the topics covered in this parenting anthology (and will love the celebrity anecdotes and expert advice), we’ve had a chat with Mel to see what she’s learnt about children’s sleep – or lack thereof! – since becoming a mum.
Mel tells us that her early years of parenthood definitely had their ups and downs.
While she totally expected her newborn daughter to wake in the night, Mel says she felt uncertain, stressed and “pretty overwhelmed with information” in the weeks after her bubba arrived.
A mini-break with the grandparents helped Mel ease into parenting and get to know her baby, however, the pair found it tough to settle into a solid sleep pattern.
Mel’s daughter slept a little better, then worse, and although planning and guidance from a mothercraft nurse helped Mel a lot, the arrival of her son threw a rattle in the works.
Though he slept like an angel from his first night, Mel’s daughter got in the habit of leaving her bed after lights out and not getting nearly enough Zzzzs.
To complicate matters, Mel was newly single, so she was getting up for multiple baby feeds and toddler retrievals each night, and “slowly going crazy.”
Fortunately, Mel’s trusty mothercraft nurse had the solution, and although Mel initially resisted the idea of sleeping on a mattress in her three-year-old’s room while her six-month-old luxuriated in his cot in the master bedroom, this actually worked well to halve the number of times Mel had to get up each night.
Of course, this happy medium wasn’t to last!
When Mel moved out of her toddler’s room, the sleep troubles returned, and it was back to the mothercraft nurse for another helpful tip.
The nurse recommended that Mel sit on a stool close to her daughter’s bed, then slowly move it towards the door as her little girl sank into sleep, and so began a very funny chapter in Mel’s life!
She says, “I’d slowly move the stool from my daughter’s bed, and eventually I found myself in the corridor. I knew that if I got up and left, she would know, because toddlers have excellent hearing and the ability to see through walls. So, I started exercising, doing 20 minutes of sit-ups, push-ups, squats and lunges outside her door, which was great for my physical and mental health.”
Mel’s daughter started sleeping well after that, but because parenting is a bit like ‘whack a mole’, a new challenge popped up to replace the solved one.
This time, it was Mel’s champion-sleeper son who started to keep her up.
She explains that, “Around the age of three, he would wake in the middle of the night, wide awake, and just lose it – screaming and throwing pillows.
“So, I put a night light in his room which had different coloured lights, white noise and aromatherapy built into it, and as soon as I turned it on, he started sleeping through again.”
Mel is very happy to report that things have settled down as her kids have grown up, and over the years, she’s had plenty of time to think about what works when it comes to sleep.
Mel’s seen how factors like personality, birth order and parenting style may impact individual children’s sleep, but her biggest takeaway from all those ups and downs is a recognition that sleep is a health habit that needs to be nurtured.
Mel says, “Just like healthy food, exercise and dressing properly, healthy sleep is something you have to teach your baby and child.”
And although children’s sleep is one of those things that keeps us parents guessing, consistency is key, and there are three things you can do to support your little one’s sleep:
1. Establish a consistent bedtime.
Mel found that, “Really set bedtimes” ensured her children knew what was coming next, even when they were very little; and if you’re not sure how much sleep your under-five needs, you can check the sleep guidelines for infants, toddlers and preschoolers here.
2. Ensure your child is on the ‘wind-down’ before bed.
At Mel’s place, a nightly routine of ‘feed, bath, bed and book’ helped her kids to quieten their minds before drifting off; and although her tweens now read to themselves, this calm time before bedtime is still really important for them.
3. Make the bedroom dark and quiet, so it’s conducive to sleep.
Mel installed double-glazing on the bedroom windows to cut out aircraft noise, and although we don’t all need to take such a solid measures, bright lights and jarring sounds aren’t good for anyone’s sleep – let alone little people’s!
These tried-and-tested tips are backed up by the sleep expert in Parenting in Progress (a lady by the name of Maryanne Sayers) and, of course, sleep health also comes into play during the day.
Babies and pre-schoolers need those daytime naps, and whether you’re superglued to a sleep schedule, or are having fun out and about, Mel encourages you to get to know your child’s sleep signs.
This means, “Paying a lot of attention to all the little cues they’re giving you when they’re tired – such as pulling on their ears or irritability – and giving them rest when they need it.”
Mel’s podcast is also worth a listen if you’re going back to work, bleary-eyed.
She and co-host, Jules Robinson, have produced two episodes to help you juggle your baby or toddler’s sleep issues when resuming work, and they’ve also put together a great one to help you break a co-sleeping habit.
At the end of the day (ok, night), sleep is definitely one of the big parenting challenges.
You might feel like you’ll never get a solid eight hours ever again, but as Mel’s experience shows, things will get better.
For now, Mel encourages you to, “Trust your gut. Listen to your child. Read their cues. Try to instil those healthy sleep habits. And know that it’s alright to lower your expectations.”
If this means sleeping on a mattress in your toddler’s room, or leaving a lunch date to put your baby down, then that’s ok.
And if you need some assurance, then check out Mel’s book, because it proves that no parents are perfect (even famous ones), and we’re all on this crazy journey together!
