Strategies for Soothing Separation Anxiety
Strategies for soothing separation anxiety.
BY HEJIRA CONVERY, KINDICARE
Early learning brings fun, friendship and all the good stuff, but initially, it can be daunting for your little darling to leave their first teacher and most trusted friend (that’s you) for the day.
‘Separation anxiety’ is very common when kiddies start childcare, and although this fear of being away from family is developmentally normal, it still hurts!
As a parent, it’s heartbreaking to pull yourself away when your child is clinging, crying, fretting and generally not wanting you to go, but don’t despair.
Separation anxiety almost always fades as your little one becomes familiar with early learning life, and there are a few things you can do to make things easier, sooner.
Here are some strategies to put in place before, and after, your child’s first day.
1. Find a friendly early learning service
Trust is a big thing for little kids, and your tyke will transition to childcare more smoothly if they feel at ease with their educators.
Warm, friendly and calm care-givers provide a positive introduction to early learning, and quality staff have a lot of experience helping newbies settle in.
It helps for you and your child to spend some time at the centre, connecting with care-givers before your kiddo’s first day.
Having you there encourages your child to build trust more quickly with their future educators, and it gives you an opportunity to tell staff about your child’s early learning experience (or lack thereof!).
If your little one is worried or upset about starting care, it helps for your educators to know this ahead of time, and if there’s anything happening at home that might make the transition that bit trickier (like a new sibling), then this info is also good to share.
When childcare starts, great educators will comfort your anxious child with cuddles and kind words, and as things get easier, a smiley “Hello!” each morning, and quick segue to an interesting activity and familiar educator, helps your child to embrace the day.
Friendly educators are there for you, too. They’ll update you on how your child went after you left and happily share their settling strategies.
2. Follow a consistent drop-off routine
The move to childcare is smoother if your tyke knows what to expect.
A predictable schedule of waking, toileting, breakfasting, dressing and commuting is a great place to start, and it helps to do a practise-run before your child’s first day, so they know what to do and where they’re going.
When care officially begins, it’s best to keep drop-offs short, sweet and same-same.
Establish a routine of signing in and stowing your child’s belongings, then say “Goodbye,” explaining when you’ll be back and where you’ll collect them.
Sneaking out is a no-no, and even if you’re feeling a bit anxious yourself, it’s better to focus on showing them your happy face and keeping things relaxed, because sadness and stress can be contagious.
Adding in a special drop-off ritual, like a kissing hand or super Mummy hug helps your little one feel safe in the knowledge that you will return, but resist the temptation to return too soon!
Coming back to comfort your crying child after you’ve left sends mixed messages, and it’s better to leave your educator to do what they do best – which is looking after your littlie.
3. Pack a comfort item
Us adults find comfort in daggy trackpants and empty carbs, but if your child relies on a special blankie, teddy or other item for comfort, then don’t leave home without it!
A familiar toy, or family happy snap, can help your kiddo feel safer, more connected and less alone at childcare, especially in the early days when they’re getting a feel for their new childcare family.
4. Talk things through
Starting childcare is a seismic change in your young child’s life.
It’s daunting, or downright scary, to be dropped off in new surroundings and left alone with not-so familiar faces, but Be You says this is actually a great opportunity for your child to gain independence and practise managing their emotions.
What this means for you, is that you need to be there for your child, giving them emotional support and reassurance, but also letting them work through big emotions in their own way.
In the weeks (and hours) before childcare starts, it’s important to ask your tyke how they’re feeling, answer any questions, and put a positive spin on this transition.
Then, at the end of each childcare day, make sure you check-in with your kiddo to get a sense of how they’re going.
It’s also important to keep communicating with your friendly educators.
It’s very likely that your child will settle in after a little while, but if separation anxiety persists, your educators are a great support team, and there’s always the option of getting medical advice if you’re worried about your tyke’s enduring anxiety and its impact on their ability to enjoy all that early learning has to offer.
How to find the right childcare fit
Whether your kiddo is bursting to begin early learning, or anxious about the whole thing, KindiCare makes it simple to search, compare and choose a service that will welcome them warmly. And once you’ve found the right fit, this article helps you plan a happy, calm first day.