BY HEJIRA CONVERY, KINDICARE

DECEMBER 5, 2022

There are zillions of different events, deadlines and decisions to wrap our minds around at this time of the year, and if you’re feeling more frazzled than festive, then maybe it’s time to stop, take a breather, and come back to your commitments with a clear head?

To help you do this, here are 8 ways to calm yourself when things get crazy, with some guidance from Beth Borowsky – a meditation, yoga and mindfulness guru who runs The Karma Class and JustBreatheYoga.

1. Practise deep breathing.

If you’ve ever encouraged your toddler to take some deeeeep breaths mid-tantrum, then you’ll know the calming power of our lungs!  

Deep breathing exercises can be really beneficial when you feel stress levels rising, and Beth suggests that you, “Inhale smoothly through your nose for a comfortable count of three or four, then exhale slowly through the nose towards double the inhale count.”

She explains that, “Extending the exhale is a quick and effective way of shifting into the parasympathetic part of our nervous system – rest and digest – and it’s a great (and quick) way to feel calmer.”

2. Write a list.

We’re not all natural born list-makers, but if you feel like there’s too much to do, in too little time, then writing down all your pending tasks allows you to see exactly what needs doing.

You can then divvy up different tasks for different days, and even if there’s still a lot to work through, this solution-based approach can help you to feel calmer and more in control.

3. Talk things through.

A problem shared is very often a problem halved, and if you’re feeling stressed or worried, then vocalising these emotions and finding practical ways to share the load can help a lot.

Your partner, parent, BFF, colleague, child’s educator or other calming confidante may be able to offer some great advice, and just knowing someone is there for you can have a positive effect on your headspace.

Hands-on help is also very welcome, and sharing out the cooking, cleaning, childcare collections and other family responsibilities equitably (or even generously!) makes life more manageable.

4. Try meditation.

Beth says, “The benefits of meditation are endless and grow with the practice,” and we’re pleased to report that there are no set rules!

You don’t need to be sitting with the perfect posture, still as a statue for half an hour.

Instead, Beth suggests that you, “Just begin in a comfortable position – lying down or sitting with support – for as little as three minutes at a time.”

She says, “You can also listen to a guided meditation, which is a great way to get started,” and Smiling Mind or Calm are two apps you might like to try.

“Just remember to be kind to yourself as you meditate,” Beth explains. “Allow the thoughts to pass by, and know that it’s ok to go through your shopping list and all the other stuff you have to do. You’ll begin to have moments of ‘mindful emptiness,’ and those will grow as you meditate more, and cultivate space and quiet in your life with this practice.”

5. Make time to exercise regularly.

Physical activity feels good in the moment, and afterwards, that nice, tired feeling is highly conducive to calm.

The social aspect of organised fitness may also lighten your mood and give you a fresh perspective on the stressors in your life.

The government sets out physical activity recommendations here, and you’re more likely to exercise regularly if you actually enjoy the activity, so look for something you love – whether that’s hardcore boxercise, gentle yoga, or a friendly ‘talk and walk.’

And… because life gets busy, it may help to book regular classes, do your exercise at the very start of the day, or incorporate it into another routine, like the work commute, to ensure your activity gets done.

6. Begin a gratitude practice.

Beth says, “People who practice gratitude, experience more joy and feel more alive! A daily gratitude practice may have a positive effect on your sleep, relationships, overall health and outlook, and this practice has a valuable place at the beginning and end of the day.”

Everyone in your family can get involved, and to practice gratitude, Beth says all you need to do is whisper three things you’re grateful for when you wake up, then wait till dinner and take turns sharing one thing each of you are grateful for.

7. Unwind in your own way.

It’s important to decompress at the end of each day by doing something you find relaxing.

You might like to read a book, have a bath, water your garden, listen to music, catch up on celeb news, pour a glass of wine or cuddle up with your partner on the couch; and Beth says, “Reading or listening to a calming, guided visualisation can also help you to unwind.”

8. Get plenty of good quality sleep.

We know that sufficient, quality sleep is essential for our children, and us grown-ups need a good night’s rest, too.

Burning the candle at both ends takes its toll, and if you’re feeling strung out, it might be time to have an especially early night.

If your child is waking up a lot, there’s some expert advice here, and the Sleep Health Foundation has some fact sheets that may help you catch some quality zeds yourself.

A good night’s rest will recharge you and make the dawning day feel a bit more do-able, and no matter which calming tips you try, self-care is key.

Setting aside a little time each day to focus on you will make it easier to feel calm as those events, deadlines and decisions stack up (and if you’d like to see Beth in practice, you can always put one of her yoga retreats on your Christmas wish list!)