BY HEJIRA CONVERY, KINDICARE

AUGUST 8, 2023

Some rules are not negotiable, like holding hands when crossing the road, or offering that last raspberry to Mum before snavelling it yourself; but there are many times when a little bit of flexibility and free-thinking is actually really important for children. 

Our kids need to know that it’s ok to think for themselves, stand up for themselves, and write some rules of their own; and Tracey Dembo is a mum-of-two who’s created a picture book to embolden our children in these ways.  

It’s called An A to Z of Dreaming Differently, and although Tracey’s definitely not suggesting that young readers should break rules to the detriment of themselves and others, she is encouraging non-compliance in the nicest way possible. 

Tracey wrote this book, based on personal experience. 

Her daughter was four-years-old and getting a lot of messages from the world about following rules, and although Tracey was totally behind her daughter learning all the rules that young children need to learn to stay safe, well and well-mannered, she felt there was something missing from the conversation. 

Tracey explains, “My daughter was always trying so hard to do the right thing that she would sometimes not speak up for simple needs in class, because she was worried about ‘being good’.”   

“I felt she needed a book that told her that it was okay to use her voice, and that her voice mattered. A book that showed her the importance of trusting her own instincts and relying on her gut to make a decision. A book about asking questions and being curious, and not feeling like you need to conform or shrink yourself to fit in.”  

“In short, I felt she needed a book about being yourself and blazing your own path.” 

Once Tracey put fingertips to keyboard, the story came really easily to her. 

She structured it around the alphabet, because the A, B, Zs are something that every child learns, and came up with a whole new set of rules that encourage children to do things their own way sometimes, and live a big, bold, beautiful childhood.  

The book starts with, ‘A is for Attitude. May you have bucketloads of it, kid,’ and ‘A’ happens to be one of Tracey’s favourite letters for dreaming differently.

However, there are a whole lot of inspiring (and fun) descriptions for all the letters, including, ‘I is for Imagination. Grow yours big and feed it every day,’ and ‘R is for ROAAAARRRRR. Gosh, that felt really good, didn’t it?’   

At its heart, this book encourages non-compliance, but not in a naughty way.  

Instead, children are encouraged to use their minds for good, and know that it’s ok to push back if something isn’t so good. 

Tracey explains that, “Critical thinking is an essential form of non-compliance, because it involves encouraging questions and not demanding blind obedience. We want our children to be curious problem-solvers and innovators who can adapt to change in the future and learn how to think for themselves, rather than just doing something because someone told them to do it.” 

“Another area of non-compliance that I believe is important, is being able to trust your instincts to stand up and say ‘No’ to a bully or to someone else who is making you feel funny. This also feeds into discussions around protective behaviors and consent.” 

Tracey also thinks it’s really important for kids to feel free to go their own way sometimes – or a lot of the time! 

She says, “I want kids to know that it is okay to do your own thing and that you shouldn’t have to conform or change yourself just to please others, or do what others are doing.”  

“Sometimes this might mean exploring a passion or doing something that lights you up inside, even if it is different to everyone else.” 

Instead of ripping up the rulebook of life, Tracey’s book is supporting young children to be different, think differently, be curious, take up space and trust their own instincts, and this is something us parents can definitely get behind! 

Every interesting conversation we have, and positive affirmation we give, builds our children up, and even though you might not like messy play, Minecraft or Malibu Barbies as much as your kiddo does, it’s always good to encourage their interests and support their individual ways of thinking, doing and being!  

Reading books that celebrate different kinds of intellect, teach the importance of being kind, encourage perseverance, and view mistakes as opportunities can also do great things for your child’s understanding of themselves and the world.   

And because picture books can be so empowering for young children, we are giving away a wonderfully emboldening book pack! 

Thanks to Penguin Books Australia, one KindiCare reader will win: 

• Busy Betty, which celebrates curiosity, creativity and all the good stuff (and happens to be written by Reese Witherspoon) 
   
• Alfie the Brave, which stars a scaredy-cat dog who wants to be courageous 
   
• Wreck This Picture Book, which challenges kids to think (and read) outside the box 
   

• Bluey: Unicorse, which features the most annoying/funny unicorn ever, and 
   
• An A to Z of Dreaming Differently, which covers all of this, and more!  

To enter, head to KindiCare’s Instagram or Facebook page and follow the easy instructions, because C is for ‘Can, as in ‘I can do it!’”