BY HEJIRA CONVERY, KINDICARE

NOVEMBER 2, 2022

It’s normal for your child to worry about their first day at care or first fight with a friend, but for a troubling percentage of preschoolers and primary schoolers, worry isn’t a once-off.

Some children experience strong or repeated fears, worries or anxiety that impacts their life in big ways, and these serious feelings can emerge in the early years.  

According to the latest RCH National Child Health Poll, Victorian parents have reported that 50% of kids aged three and up have had problems with anxiety, 14% have ‘big’ problems, and 19% are anxious about attending kindergarten or school.

Of course, Victoria isn’t the only place where this is happening.  

Poll Director and paediatrician, Dr Anthea Rhodes, tells us that, “Anxiety is a concern around Australia, and a large number of children struggle with anxiety at some stage.”

So, what to do?

Well, anxiety can play out in different ways, and because most parents aren’t psychologists, it’s not always easy to spot signs of anxiety in your child, or know what to do about it.

In recognition of this, the Royal Children’s Hospital Melbourne (RCH) has released new childhood anxiety resources for parents and care-givers, and we’re summarising them here, with some expert input from Dr Rhodes.  

The RCH tells us that there are a few common signs of anxiety in children.

You should be alert, but not always alarmed, if your primary school aged child does the following:

• Avoids everyday situations, like school, social events, sport, meals or sleep
• Frequently complains about physical problems, like headaches or tummy aches
• Has sudden emotional outbursts, such as tantrums or ‘meltdowns’
• Has trouble sleeping
• Exhibits changes in appetite, such as being ‘off their food’
• Seeks reassurance often, from you or another trusted person
• Is preoccupied or unable to concentrate
• Overplans situations and overthinks things

 

Dr Rhodes says, “It’s normal for some or all of these signs to pop up occasionally as your child develops socially and emotionally, and they might not be related to anxiety.”

“However, if your child regularly exhibits these signs of anxiety, you’re encouraged to have a conversation with their teacher or your family doctor.”

“If your child is pre-school aged, then signs of anxiety can include difficulty separating, trouble getting to sleep and frequent tantrums or meltdowns.”

If you are worried about your child’s feelings and behaviour, then early learning educators, teachers, GPs and other professionals are on hand to help.

If you’re not sure whether things are ‘bad’ enough to seek a second opinion, the Beyond Blue Child Mental Health Checklist is a simple way to judge whether professional help is needed (it’s for ages four and up), and the RCH says it’s time to get help if:

• Your child has severe, frequent or ongoing anxiety symptoms
• They are avoiding daily activities and situations that set off their anxiety, like playing, going to school or socialising

 

Dr Rhodes says, “Early childhood educators have lots of experience with separation anxiety, but they can also talk through other childhood worries and fears, and suggest people or programs to help.”

“Schools also have support for children who feel anxious or don’t want to attend class, and they can connect you with trained staff inside the school, such as a counsellor, or perhaps someone outside the school, like a psychologist.”

You can also speak to your GP if you’re worried about your child’s anxiety symptoms.

They’re a good sounding board if you have concerns or questions, and they can refer you to a paediatrician, child psychologist or other mental health professional if needed.

There are also online treatment programs that can help.

These are detailed in the RCH fact sheet, but for example, The Brave Program and Cool Kids Program are two interactive online programs for middle-graders, and a Parentline counsellor can support you (for the cost of a local phone call).

As your child’s first educator and oldest friend, you’re also very well placed to help your youngster at home.

If your child is showing ongoing signs of anxiety, the RCH says you can support them in these ways:

- Encourage your child to talk about their feelings and tell you when they feel overwhelmed.

It may also help to explain that ‘big’ emotions, like worry and fear, are common, and everyone feels them sometimes – even Mummy!

- Support your child to gradually do the thing that makes them feel anxious.

For example, if your preschooler is very anxious about starting school, you might read books about school, buy appealing school supplies, take little walks past your local school, then organise a school tour for just the two of you.

- Make a plan together to help your child cope with anxious feelings.

For instance, you could practise breathing exercises with your preschooler, or help your primary schooler to load calming music onto their MP3 player.

- Share parent-child activities that move the focus from anxiety to fun.

You might do a different craft project together each Saturday, or take the dog for a walk each morning – whatever brings you joy! 

- Support your child to have healthy routines.

This means ensuring they have plenty of good food, physical activity and quality sleep, and not too much screen time.

- Make school a priority.

Dr Rhodes says, “School refusal is common amongst children with anxiety, however, it is really important that children go to school, not just for their formal education, but for their social and emotional development.”

“If your child doesn’t want to go to school, then it can help to speak with their classroom teacher and work together on ways to support your young person to stay engaged at school.”

“In some cases, a counsellor or psychologist might be needed to help the child and family work through the ways of attending school, even when a child is anxious.”

And don’t forget to look after yourself.

It’s worrying to see your child suffering from anxiety, but try not to worry alone.

Get help if you or your child needs it, and if you’d like to hear more from Dr Rhodes, tune in to her podcasts about anxiety at the bottom of the RCH fact sheet.

This KindiCare article also explains ways to soothe separation anxiety when your under-five starts childcare.