BY HEJIRA CONVERY, KINDICARE

MAY 28, 2022

No-one ever said parenting was boring!  

Every day brings new experiences – and emotions – and although there are lots of upsides to family life, things like toddler tantrums, teary transitions and testing timeframes exert pressure on your parenting. 

The good news is that ‘positive parenting’ is a tried and tested way to turn frowns upside down and make daily dramas more manageable.  

This evidence-based parenting approach enables you to build a great bond with your child, encourage positive behaviours, and calmly deal with stressful situations.  

Our companion article explains the basic principles of ‘positive parenting,’ and if you’re wondering how to deal with specific challenges, like toddler meltdowns and mealtime battles, then wonder no longer!  

Triple P’s Country Lead, Carol Markie-Dadds is sharing some expert advice with the KindiCare community that will put a positive spin on five common parenting problems.  

1. How to get your tribe out the door on time 

Despite their busy bodies, littlies often approach the morning rush in slo-mo, taking their time to forget a shoe or finish a breakfast, and if you’re trying to get to childcare, work, school or anywhere on time, this is trés frustrating.  

You can easily fix this problem, though, with a little planning.  

Ms Markie-Dadds says, “The key to getting out the door with minimal fuss is to be organised. Set some ground rules and put a routine in place ahead of time, so everyone knows what to expect and what they need to do to get ready.” 

She says, “Your child can help by learning to do things for themselves, like getting dressed and brushing their teeth. This gives them the chance to practise these skills, and it teaches them how to be organised. Plus, it saves you time!”  

“You can also help yourself by leaving plenty of time to get ready in the morning. Try and prepare some things, like lunches, the night before to avoid the last-minute rush.” 

2. How to deal with drop-off dramas 

A settling-in period is natural when your tyke starts early learning or school.  

The transition from ‘home to childcare’ or ‘little school to big school’ represents a massive change in their life, but your positive support makes things easier, sooner.  

Ms Markie-Dadds says, “If your child usually gets upset when you leave, but settles quickly when you’re gone, be prepared to explain that you are going and when you will be back. Then say ‘goodbye’ and leave.” 

She says, “It might take a few days for your child to get used to being in the new situation. However, most children quickly adapt to the excitement and challenge of starting childcare or kindergarten. If you have any concerns, your child’s educators are an excellent resource to ask for help.”  

This article also has lots of family-friendly tips to help you pull off a great first day at care.    

3. How to manage mealtime battles 

If you’ve slaved over a nutritious family meal, or just want your kiddo to eat something green, it’s disheartening (or maddening) to see them turn their nose up at your offering.  

You might be tempted to give them an eating ultimatum or an easy way out, but forcing your child to eat a food, or offering a different one, isn’t a healthy solution going forward.  

Instead, Ms Markie-Dadds says it’s better to reach some middle ground at mealtimes by: 

• Serving a variety of vegetable or salad items and letting everyone choose their portion size 
• Encouraging your kiddo to discover and mix flavours, like spices, seasonings and dressings 
• Ensuring grown-ups role-model good eating habits by trying new or different foods, and 
• Introducing a rule that your child needs to at least try something when it’s offered.  
  You’ll probably need to introduce new foods gradually and offer them again at different times, as your mini-muncher’s tastes change, but a little taste is a good compromise.  

4. How to stop your toddler from crying when they don’t get their way 

There’s no magic way to turn off the tears (sorry!), but we can tell you that crying is a completely normal way for your toddler to protest when they don’t get what they want.  

It’s how they learn to deal with disappointment and frustration, which is a good skill to learn, so instead of telling your toddler to stop crying (which won’t work anyway), think positive.   

Ms Markie-Dadds recommends that you, “Change focus and encourage the pro-social behaviours and skills you would rather see.” 

There’s an opportunity for your toddler to practise managing their emotions, communicating their needs and handling disappointment, so: 

• Ask them to ‘use their words’ to calmly tell you what they want 
• Help them understand why they can’t have it now (but can maybe have it later)  
• Let them know it’s ok to be upset or disappointed, and 
• Help them cope with their emotions. For example, by taking some big, slow breaths together.  
   

5. How to handle tantrums 

When things escalate and you have a full-blown tantrum on your hands, the best thing to do is make like a cucumber and stay cool!  

Ms Markie-Dadds says you should, ideally, respond to a tantrum as soon as it first occurs. And instead of offering your child a reward to make the tantrum go away, focus on being strong and centred.  

She says, “It’s easy to get caught up in the tantrum (especially when it’s in the middle of a shop!), but it’s important to stay calm and consistent. Make sure your child is safe from harm, and let them know that you’re there for them when they’re ready to use their words.” 

No matter how red-faced or rattled you feel, remind yourself that you’re not the first parent to be on the receiving end of a tantrum, and you won’t be the last!  

Your child will grow out of the tantrum phase in time, and for now, it’s comforting to think of tantrums as a learning opportunity.  

Ms Markie-Dadds says, “Tantrums teach children how to cope with frustration and anger. Knowing how to deal with life’s challenges, and how to express big emotions in non-harmful ways, are very powerful tools for a successful adulthood.” 

All in all, positive parenting promises a happier, calmer family life, and if you’re keen to learn more, Triple P’s online program makes it easy to upskill.