Self-Care For Mums
How to nurture yourself as a new mum.
BY HEJIRA CONVERY, KINDICARE
Becoming a mother is exciting and exhausting, and in between caring for your newborn, it’s really important that you care for yourself as well.
This helps you to function and flourish as a mum, but how do you actually carve out time for yourself when you have a little human who relies on you for pretty much everything?
Well, the trick is finding some self-care strategies that work for you.
You’re looking for activities that boost you physically, socially, mentally and emotionally, and to help you find the best way forward, Ruby Matley has written a practical guide called Self-Care for New Mums.
Ruby is mum-of-two, with a health sciences background, and her book contains lots of ideas and strategies to help you care for yourself, while looking after nappy changes, night feeds and all that other baby business.
Here, Ruby’s kindly sharing some ways to get started with self-care, plus you’ve got a chance to win her new book.
The first thing to know is that self-care is a fundamental component of our health.
Ruby says, “Anything that empowers a person to feel good and be present in the moment” can be described as ‘self-care,’ and although it’s important at all stages of life, self-care is vital when you become a mum.
Ruby says this is because, “Motherhood is hard, but having a way to care for yourself can give you the tools and strength you need to get through the challenging years.”
Different things will bring positives to your life at different times, and Ruby explains that, “As your child changes and you evolve as a mother, your self-care regime will adapt too.”
In the beginning, self-care takes a particularly conscious effort on your part, because your baby does need a lot of your time.
To embrace self-care in the early months, and stay committed to it through the years, Ruby encourages you to integrate one self-care habit at a time – whether that’s morning meditation or a night-time bath – then continue to do it regularly so that it’s eventually embedded in your routine.
She also suggests that you find ways to do things you enjoy that involve your child, such as a group fitness class for mums, or a friendly picnic in the park.
Ruby says it’s also helpful to focus on self-kindness daily, reminding yourself that there are no rules and no such thing as a “perfect” mother.
She encourages you to, “Let go of those expectations and be kind to yourself when things don’t go to plan.”
Throughout your parenting journey, a healthy habit of self-care involves looking after yourself physically, socially, mentally and emotionally.
There are loads of different ways to nurture all these sides of yourself, but as a guide, Ruby says:
- Physical self-care might involve moving in a way that you enjoy, whether it be walking, swimming, yoga or weight-training. She encourages you to, “Move your body and boost those endorphins, and also remember your pelvic floor exercises!”
She says it’s also important to, “Nourish your body with good food, even if it’s simple, healthy snacks throughout the day.”
- Social self-care comes into play when you connect with people in meaningful ways, and Ruby suggests that new mums, “Join groups to meet other mums, or engage with friends that have babies, to unwind, debrief, support and encourage one another.”
These friendships can last years, or even a lifetime, and they’re super important for our mental and emotional health.
- On a related note, mental self-care means asking for help when you need it, and Ruby says this can involve, “Seeking help or professional support if you are feeling anxious or depressed.”
“Meditation for mindfulness and making the time to do this regularly to enhance your mental wellbeing” is also a form of mental self-care, as is regular skin-to-skin contact with your baby.
- And last but not least, emotional self-care entails, “Saying ‘No’ to people or things that don’t make you feel good or serve you well.”
However, it also means asking for help when you need it, celebrating life’s small wins, and organising date nights with your partner!
Even if you’re not making a regular restaurant and babysitter booking, Ruby says it is important to make time for yourself and your partner. “This might be an hour after your baby goes down to sleep to talk, watch a movie, be intimate or just check in with one another.”
Also, if your spouse, family or friends offer to lighten your load or give you an opportunity to rest, self-care means taking them up on their kind offer and accepting that meal delivery, house clean, or daytime nap while they watch your bub.
The main thing takeaway from all this is that mum-care has a very important place in family life.
Ruby knows this from experience.
She says, “Self-care has allowed me to enjoy my children, my family, my own interests, and fill up my cup. And I hope my book inspires new mums to find those small, but oh so rewarding, pleasures that fill up their cup, too. After all, if us mums don’t look after ourselves, we can’t look after our families.”
If you’re keen to read Ruby’s book, then here’s your chance to win it!
Thanks to Pac Macmillan, we’re giving away two copies of Self-Care for New Mums.
For your chance to win one, just tell us in 25 words or less, why this book is on your wish-list.
Email your entry to competitions@kindicare.com by 26 July, 2022, or pre-order the book today.